"Is it His plan that I remain single?" Part 2

    
 

Thinking About The Two Options 
  

  As I said in my last post it seems as if one has two options when it comes to one’s unmarried years:   
   

Option 1: We can brood over the fact that we are not married and either try to take the situation into our own hands or pine over something we may or may not be blessed with one day.    
  

Or  

Option 2: We can look at this period of our lives as a time of preparation, a blessed time in life that the Lord has given us in which to learn, trust in Him, and grow. We can thank Him for this "season" and trust that His plans are “to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.”    

I know that there are some that rest in the middle of these two options, but for the most part I think one chooses, unknowingly at times, either option one or option two.

Option One : Sadness and Discontentment   

“ Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.” (Genesis 3:1 a) “But the serpent said to the woman, ‘ You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’” (Genesis 3: 4-5)

          In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve broke their trust in the Lord and listened to the lies the serpent told them. They desired to be like God and sinned for the first time when they decided to disobey the Lord and eat of the tree of good and evil.  Instead of living forever with the Lord their decision resulted in banishment, sadness, death, destruction, and the curse of knowing good and evil (Genesis 3: 22 -24). Even in Adam and Eve’s disobedience God had a beautiful plan and He did not abandon His people. He eventually gave man the greatest gift this world has ever known and sent His only and perfect son to die for the sins that we committed and commit against Him. In doing so, he saved man from ultimate death and destruction, if only one would believe in Him and confess one’s sins (Romans 10: 7- 17). Even though we sinned against Him, He still had a plan, the most beautiful plan this world has ever known.

         Even after we are saved we can still struggle with our sin natures and fail to trust in Him at times. We can also struggle with being content with what He has given us. When it comes to being unmarried I think option one can be the easiest path to fall into, but it is a path that generally leads to discontentment, unhappiness, unrest, and many lost hours in one’s life. Option one ultimately is the failure to trust, as believers, that the Lord is in control and that He has a plan for our lives. His plans are much better than the plans we try to put into place, even if at the time our plans seem much better. 

        I fully began to realize this principle five or so years ago. When I was fifteen my father needed to and was led to move to Connecticut for his career. At the time I had lived in a wonderful town for nine years and had a lot of amazing friends. As a person who often does not cope with change well, when I learned we were moving I thought my life was “ending.” For the first several years in Connecticut I genuinely struggled to trust in Him and my faith was “tested.” I was angry with God, at times I did not understand my parents, and could not see any good that had come from the move. Those years were a time of intense change for me, times of intense struggle and at times rebellion. Surprisingly those years were also a time of intense growth. Slowly I began to realize that I had begun to cut myself off from both my family and God. Only by His grace was I able to slowly, but painful, trust that these were His plans for my life. He changed my heart in many ways while I lived in Connecticut, and made me depend on Him and grow in Him more than I had been forced to in my hometown. Not only did He force me to depend on Him, but He also helped me to begin to more fully put my confidence in Him. After four years in Connecticut my father was offered a wonderful work opportunity in our old town. When I think back, those years in Connecticut were some of the hardest, saddest, and most painful times in my life, but they were also the most glorious, freeing and wonderful periods as well. If I had stayed in my home town I probably would have matured as a Christian but I would not have had to grow to the extent I was forced to when we moved. Now because I struggled against Him, there are areas in my life that I could have grown in more if I had just trusted in Him. For example, I could now have a greater knowledge of His word, but I cannot change what happened in the past, and ultimately He used my struggles to grow me.  

     So, sometimes it is hard to see how God works in our lives and it is hard to understand, as believers, that the Lord can use times of struggle to mature us and use those times for His glory, etc. If I had been asked five year ago if I wanted to move I would have shouted a resounding "NO!" but if you ask me today I would say "Yes, and thank-you Lord for using that time for your glory." It is funny sometimes how God works when we do not see how He can do so but He is omnipotent. 

         So, when it comes to option one we can try to take the situation into our own hands, but often times our efforts result in pain and failure. We can also pine away, depressed that our dreams have not come true, creating dreams for the future and crying out to God in desperation asking why He did not bless us as other girls have been. All this leads us to option two.

Option Two : Amazing Hope and Freedom

      If your like me you are probably ready to hear about option two because option one does not sound too fine or dandy at this point. In fact option one sound downright depressing and discouraging. So, here is the good news: God is in charge and He loves His people, even those unmarried, more than we could ever imagine. He has had a plan since the beginning of time and although sin has entered the world, due to man, He choose us and will not forsake us, if we are His people (Ephesians 2: 4-8).  This is the most basic, fundamental, and comforting truth.

       Option two is a hard path to choose. It is not easy to depend on Him or trust in Him but option two is the most beautiful path. It is a path in which one can find, with His aid, joy, contentment, purpose, unimaginable love, and peace. The struggle of picking option two is: trust, trust, trust, dependence, dependence, dependence and knowledge that He knows best. How painful it can be to give up our ways and to give our lives and struggles to Him, but how wonderful and relieving it can be as well. Every period in our lives is a period God can use for His glory, a time in which He can grow us in Him, grow us in our love for Him, and a time He can use us to bless others. What an amazing God He is and how much love He has for His people!   

     As Jesus says in Luke 12 : “ Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious…" (vs. 22)  “Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?” (vs. 24 -26) “But if God so clothes the grass…how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!” (vs. 29) “Fear not, little flock, for it is your father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (vs. 33) “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (vs. 34, ESV) 

          So, why don’t we be thankful for what the Lord has given us and be thankful that we are His people and that He cares for us. Instead of our treasure being marriage why don’t we treasure what is above and be thankful that He chosen us. Why don’t we use the skills the Lord has given us and use them by and for His glory. There is so much we can doing during our unmarried years to further His kingdom, to learn about Him, read His word, develop skills we may need in the future, be a blessing to those around us, etc. Of course we can only do so with His help! Option two does seems so much more encouraging and God honoring than option one. Although it can be difficult at times to continue on this path, it is a relief to know that He is always with us. 

      I would like to end this article with an encouraging psalm of David. This psalm shows David's trust and love for the Lord, and demonstrates God's glory. I think it is a good "theme" psalm for this article. 

“Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion,  

and to you shall vows be performed.

O you who hear prayer, 

to you shall all flesh come.

When iniquities prevail against me,

you atone for our transgressions.

Blessed is the one you choose and bring near,

to dwell in your courts!  

We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house,

the holiness of your temple!

By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness,

O God of our salvation,

the hope of all the ends of the earth

and of the farthest seas;

the one who by his strength established the mountains  

being girded with might; 

who still the roaring of the seas…”

(Psalms 65: 1 -7)

May God bless your lives as you allow Him to daily work in you. 

All credits for the picture go to : http://jeroendstout.tumblr.com/ The artist is: Leopold Franz Kowalksi (1856-1931)